The Bill Schmidt Era is off to a roaring start. If your idea of “roaring” is watching the Rockies hit the gas with their right foot while they pound the brakes with their left.

Adam Ottavino couldn’t spin the Jon Gray saga into something that doesn’t want to make you bang your head on the kitchen counter.

Instead of moving their veteran right-hander this past summer, when there were suitors lurking, the Rockies said they planned to keep Gray. Schmidt, the then-interim-and-now-full-time Colorado general manager, explained at the time that he felt the pitcher was interested in sticking around.

“We’re hopeful that Jon would like to stay here, which I believe he does,” Schmidt told The Post’s Patrick Saunders back in July, “and that we’re going to be able to find a common ground.”

Spoiler alert: They never did.

The Rockies feared Gray would accept a 1-year, $18.4-million qualifying offer, so they declined to offer one, making him a free agent. This past Sunday night, during the mad shopping spree before the inevitable MLB lockout, the right-hander got away — joining the Texas Rangers on a four-year, $56-million deal — for nothing.

No prospects. Nada.

So while Kris Bryant would look incredible in Rockies purple, take Schmidt’s reported attempts at finding “common ground” with the former Cubs and Giants slugger with a grain of salt.

Or a shot of whiskey.

Oh, he fits. Like a glove. Bryant would immediately become the face of a franchise that traded off one (Nolan Arenado) and is letting two more walk (Gray, Trevor Story).

Bryant slots in at third, first, or in the outfield. He’d turn Coors Field into his personal launching pad. After Nikola Jokic and maybe Nathan MacKinnon, he’d become the biggest star in town, at least until the Broncos have a change of heart at quarterback.

Here’s the problem. When MLB Network’s Jon Heyman tweeted Tuesday that the Rockies’ interest in Bryant was because “they are obviously aiming to compete in 2022” … just …. just … stop.

Stop right there.

If you’re “obviously trying to compete in 2022,” you don’t let a core member of your rotation since 2015, a 2.7 WAR pitcher in 2021, a guy who has the kind of stuff that plays at Coors Field, walk away without a fight.

Is Gray worth $18.4 million with a lifetime 53-49 record, a 4.59 ERA and a 3.91 FIP when German Marquez is making $11.3 million in 2022? Compared to his peers? No way.

But if you’re going for it, then Bryant can’t be the only big piece added to the picture.

Gray pitched 150 innings, on average, in 2019 and ’21. Who fills that gap? The bullpen?

Pony up. Go long. Call Clayton Kershaw. When he laughs and hangs up, call again. Marcus Stroman, same deal. Why should the Rangers, Tigers, Mariners and the Mets have all the fun?

If Rockies owner/chairman/CEO/punching bag Dick Monfort wants to change the narrative, he needs to borrow a page from the Texas playbook and open his checkbook.

Bryant has yet to finish an MLB season on a roster with a losing record. He’s gone to the playoffs six times in his first seven big-league seasons. Schmidt might be able to read a scouting report, but can he read a room?

“We internally made a decision to keep Jon (Gray) and not entertain trading him,” the Rockies’ general manager offered last July. “Our objective is to continue to have Jon as a Rockie. We have had some discussions but we’re not at the finish line yet.”

Then again, that’s the trouble with pounding the accelerator and the brake at the same time. Sure, the tires make a lot of noise. But in the end, you don’t get anywhere.