You don’t want to die, then never click, not the website. Not now, not later, never.
Otherwise you will be dead within 14 days. Jurors are vying for the Darwin Award on the Internet.
Particularly grotesque types of death are honored ……
Death is a bad fate, full of gloom and tragedy. But heartless natures are currently amusing themselves in abundance at the passing of unfortunate people, laughing at deaths like that
* of the fiber fundamentalist in Sinai, who emitted so much intestinal gas due to a permanent diet of beans, onions and herbs that the oxygen content in his tube-like cave fell below the life limit – “mors per flatum”, death by downdraft, the autopsy report states ;
* of the hot dog thief in St. Louis who tried to secure his booty by gobbling it down in one piece – he died a bolus death, as doctors call it, when someone suffocates on his last bite;
* of the opera singer half asleep, who instead of the telephone ringing early in the morning grabbed his revolver from the bedside table – to the bang the neighbors heard a wail that reminded of Cavaradossi’s screams of pain (Tosca 2nd act), but until the paramedics came he was already bleeding to death;
* of the suitor, who lost his manhood in the brothel, whereupon he tried his hand at the really hot pussies of Philadelphia – at least this is what the police suspect, since the man had completely undressed in the lion enclosure of the local zoo before his death.
You and many hundreds of others who were desolated by the misfortune are contenders for the title in a competition in which, at best, disrespectful spirits with a penchant for macabre jokes will find pleasure – who else could be amused by the fate of the diarrhea-plagued botanist who is interested in a California conservationist -Kliff tried to dissolve ecologically clean into the sea and fell behind on his urge?
The plant lover is considered a promising candidate for the Darwin Award 1997 – the prize advertised annually on the Internet for demels who bring their life to extinction ahead of time, but in an unusual way. The regulations put it in a more seductive manner: “The Darwin Award is given to those representatives of the species who have removed themselves from the human gene pool in the most spectacular and stupid way imaginable.”
With joy in the grotesque death that was not clouded by any restraint, the winners from all corners of the earth presented so many award aspirants that the jury was in default with the fact-checking – the reason why the free choice of the winners for 1997 is still dragging on.
But at least the award committee has now, apparently overwhelmed by the abundance of material, published an interim report on the Internet – a real treasure trove for morality, the science of stupidity.
From the interim report it emerges that self-exemption through nonsense was practiced almost exclusively by men in the past year.
The number of victims who died by urinating on current-carrying cables has risen dramatically – mostly when a man donated in the course of climbing high-voltage pylons;
but often also when urging bridges or platforms onto the overhead line or conductor rails of the railways or subways.
The Polish poacher who had electrified a fish pond and then felt the urge to water deserves special mention in the area of urinal electrocution; he was found dodging next to his brother, who had apparently run into the pond to save him – he was also a candidate, albeit not necessarily a compelling candidate, for the award, which is naturally given posthumously.
The only exception are the victims of auto-emasculation, as the doctor calls self-castration in men, who are no longer able to pass on their genes and are therefore entitled to participate in the award according to the regulations. Occasionally, there are sexual gratification attempts, such as the self-emptying man, who – unusual for this award category – is in second place in the preliminary overall ranking.
He was nominated by the operating doctor, to whom the patient had been transferred with a balloon-like swollen scrotum without testicles. As the x-ray clearly showed, there were 80 metal clips in the scrotum.
Explanation: During the auto-eroticism on the drive belt of a band saw, the man tore open his scrotum and stapled the scrotum, which had been emptied after losing his testicles, with an office stapler.
The absolute favorites for first place in the Darwin Awards 1997 are the two heavy metal fans who wanted to climb over the 2.70 meter high fence to the open-air concert of the band “Metallica” via the back of their pickup truck.
Without realizing that it was twelve meters down the other side, the first of the coarse drunken duo stepped over the fence;
But he did not consider it a stroke of luck that he got caught in a tree with his jacket halfway
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